Humor, Original Art

An Absurdist Vignette, or a chat with Richard Sanchez

November 29, 2011
When Richard invited me to be an author on my favorite blog, i.e. In Harsh Light, I was delighted.  He has given me leave to explore the phenomenon of my creative process in all its tangential absurdity.
So, to begin my authorship, I’ve unearthed a typological conversation between Richard and myself that demonstrates some of the improvisational exercises that froth my creative juices.  Here is the uncensored transcript from the vault of Google Buzz posts dated February, 2010

 

Richard Sanchez's profile photo   Richard Sanchez  –  pwetty
Lindsey Bucklew's profile photo   Lindsey Bucklew  –  Awww, Thanks Ricardo!

Richard Sanchez's profile photo   Richard Sanchez  –  quite welcome! how’s the jewelry biz goin’?

Lindsey Bucklew's profile photo   Lindsey Bucklew  –  Pretty good! In fact, my obsession with making it is increasing exponentially with time… [time to make an interpretive piece of jewelry related to “Dark Side of the Moon”]

Richard Sanchez's profile photo   Richard Sanchez  –   So, by “making it” do you mean “making the bigtime”? Reaping a successful business that affords you the decadent and affluent fashionista-lifestyle luxuries that you feel you so deserve? Inheriting the world like Tony Montana did in Scarface because you’re a tiger?Just like in the movie, I can expect you to have a tiger in a cage in the back lawn of your enormous mansion estate (about 5 years from now). And you’ll pay me 100k USD per year to feed it raw meat. I wonder where tigers get their fiber from. with all that raw meat consumption you’d think they suffer from constipation. one of my favorite pieces of the Tim Burton gallery at the MoMA in NY was a sketch he made of a man covering himself from the fecal debris of an exploded poodle. The man carried a gun. Burton subtitled it: “Never shoot a constipated poodle.”  You’re a tiger. A tiger!

Lindsey Bucklew's profile photo   Lindsey Bucklew  –  As a fashionista Tigress, I plan to make it big in 3 years or less. Thereupon, hiring you to feed my pet tiger raw meat and Metamucil (to prevent constipation) at a rate of 100K per MONTH- how is that for a raise?* btw, I believe that “Never shoot a constipated poodle” was the motto on my family’s heraldic coat of arms (though in Latin of course).

Richard Sanchez's profile photo   Richard Sanchez  –  ha… now I MUST see this heraldic coat of arms. Metamucil parceling will be difficult, as tiger-related reactions vary widely, so I’ll have to keep a watchful eye when I administer it. Some have reported: “My stools are soft and easy to pass. This stuff is magic in a plastic portable packet. Thank you richard!” While others report: “I am experiencing severe gas and bloating and coma-inducing flatulence, and abdominal pain, and the constipation persists. On the upside, if the poachers find me, they’ll be met with a lot of fecal debris from my exploded person.”As Eddie Izzard would say in Dressed to Kill: “this is all true.”

Lindsey Bucklew's profile photo   Lindsey Bucklew  –  The ancestral legend behind our coat of arms is roughly that of a highland gentleman bow hunting a stag and accidentally shooting his plaid-clad poodle, who happened to be severely constipated….The coat of arms memorialized this sad event with an image of said highland gentleman besmirched with poodle poo and remorse.  Shhhh- don’t tell anyone that this is my real coat of arms…somewhat embarrassing really (wink, wink).

Richard Sanchez's profile photo   Richard Sanchez  –  haha … I just can’t top that one … the wit and creativity and charm of that comment just blows my absurdist socks off (argyle socks, of course, being the ever-celebrated and immortalized Duke of Argyle). Kudos Klew … you’ve really outdone yourself this time LBeeeee, good show (spoken with the accent of a haughty yacht-faring Englishman daintily holding a fragile flute of expensive champagne in his manicured hand) …We should all catch up over a cup of coffee sometime …
That exchange encapsulates some of my favorite elements of the improvisation.  In effect, accepting everything offered and going with it – working with whatever disparate bits you’ve got.  How else do you get a conversation to bounce from Scarface to Fashion to excrement to Tim Burton to Heraldry and plaid-clad poodles?
This year old conversation was brought to my remembrance this weekend while I was painting and the TV was on in the background.  The movie Highlander began and I got sucked in.  Don’t worry, I won’t attempt a review of that 1986 film, but I will say that sartorially speaking, it’s worth watching just to see Sean Connery decked out fully in red velvet and a peacock feather cape.  I know he is in period costume, but still – it blew my mind.
In keeping with my absurdist theme, here is an image that will haunt your dreams (or not):

 

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9 Comments

  • Reply k5dgn November 29, 2011 at 3:23 am

    Such incredible wit. That may be one of the funniest exchanges I’ve ever read. I found myself laughing hard enough to put my child’s sleep in peril.

    Great stuff!

  • Reply k5dgn November 29, 2011 at 3:23 am

    Such incredible whit. That may be one of the funniest exchanges I’ve ever read. I found myself laughing hard enough to put my child’s sleep in peril.

    Great stuff!

    • Reply Richard Sanchez November 29, 2011 at 5:24 am

      Oh dear, we do feel bad for indirectly jeopardizing your child’s sleep schedule! But thanks for laughing. Whoduh thunk Lindsey still had a copy of this exploding poodle of a chat session lying around.

  • Reply Lindsey November 29, 2011 at 5:32 am

    Indeed, I archive most of Richard’s verbal gems- no, they are more like diamonds…and diamonds are forever!

    • Reply Richard Sanchez November 29, 2011 at 5:50 am

      LIRL (laughing in real life :). That is mighty flattering (though I’m sure there are some blackmail worthy coals in there too — eek). but as you know, “every kiss begins with kay,” ;p.

  • Reply Andréa Balt November 29, 2011 at 1:54 pm

    Great to run into you both and now be a witness to your wit. And by the way, I’m considering wearing jewelry now that I discovered yours, Lindsey. It usually makes me itch but I’d be willing to give those witty, collaged earrings a try. 🙂

    • Reply Lindsey November 30, 2011 at 11:47 am

      Andrea,
      I believe that the feelings of grandeur which arise from wearing my Sean-Connery-decked-in-Peacock-Feathers-Earrings far outweighs any possible rashes and irritations.

      My 2011 Ad Campaign directed towards a demographic with sensitive skin:

      “Hives have never looked this good!”

  • Reply Richard Sanchez November 29, 2011 at 4:14 pm

    Her jewelry is eczema-repellent.

  • Reply Anonymous May 9, 2012 at 10:58 pm

    wat the fu
    ck

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