Humor, Literature

Another reason why I don't keep a gun in the house

December 4, 2011

If you’ve been experiencing any unwanted barking in your life lately, maybe you will enjoy some Billy Collins for your Sunday symphony.

The neighbors’ dog will not stop barking.
He is barking the same high, rhythmic bark
that he barks every time they leave the house.
They must switch him on on their way out.

The neighbors’ dog will not stop barking.
I close all the windows in the house
and put on a Beethoven symphony full blast
but I can still hear him muffled under the music,
barking, barking, barking,

and now I can see him sitting in the orchestra,
his head raised confidently as if Beethoven
had included a part for barking dog.

When the record finally ends he is still barking,
sitting there in the oboe section barking,
his eyes fixed on the conductor who is
entreating him with his baton

while the other musicians listen in respectful
silence to the famous barking dog solo,
that endless coda that first established
Beethoven as an innovative genius.

~ Billy Collins

[Image: Brian Rubenacker]

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3 Comments

  • Reply Mario A. Munoz December 5, 2011 at 5:54 am

    Well, if you do own a gun, make sure your dog doesn’t get to it first.
    http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2011/12/01/143008542/dog-shoots-man-butt-and-pride-injured

  • Reply Richard Sanchez December 5, 2011 at 3:13 pm

    that concludes another episode of “when animals attack.” Gosh, haha.

  • Reply Andréa Balt December 5, 2011 at 4:28 pm

    LOL. Hilarious. Thanks for sharing, Mario. That’s one of the outcomes of trying to kill birds: you get shot by dogs. Lesson: Only hunt yourself, especially when your barking gets too loud.

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