For fucking up my commute today.
And get this — according to a DCist post dated to February 22, 2008:
James Jay Lee, the man better known only as “Lee”, organizer of a lengthy protest against The Discovery Channel, has been arrested by Montgomery County police. Lee appears to have spent thousands of dollars in advertising his protest plans in publications such as the Express and hiring homeless people to beef up his presence in front of the cable network’s Silver Spring headquarters.
WJLA reported that Lee was arrested yesterday on charges of littering and disorderly conduct. The littering charge may have stemmed from Lee reportedly having literally thrown money at people on the street so that they would gather around his protest site on Georgia Ave.
It’s hard not to suspect at this point that Lee, 40, is at least to some degree mentally disturbed, so we hope this arrest leads to him getting some help. At the very least, it appears as though he has the financial means to take care of his legal troubles.
Er, apparently, he never got any of that help. Roughly two years later, he walks into the Discovery Communications building with either an explosive device or a gun and holds several employees hostage.
According to Dan Morse and Christian Davenport‘s Washington Post article hyperlinked above, Lee’s list of 11 demands (seen here) to Discovery Channel is prefaced and contextualized by the following Post-quoted savetheplanetprotest.com excerpt, a domain that is registered under his name:
All programs on Discovery Health-TLC must stop encouraging the birth of any more parasitic human infants and the false heroics behind those actions […] In those programs’ places, programs encouraging human sterilization and infertility must be pushed. All former pro-birth programs must now push in the direction of stopping human birth, not encouraging it.
Here’s my personal favorite:
World War II had 2 Billion humans and after that war, the people decided that tripling the population would assure peace. WTF??? STUPIDITY! MORE HUMANS EQUALS MORE WAR!
Wait, no, I think we have a new contender:
For every human born, ACRES of wildlife forests must be turned into farmland in order to feed that new addition over the course of 60 to 100 YEARS of that new human’s lifespan! THIS IS AT THE EXPENSE OF THE FOREST CREATURES!!!! All human procreation and farming must cease!
Must … save … the … forest … pixies.
Soooooo … a number of Discovery Communications employees’ lives are dependent on the fulfillment of these exceptionally cogent demands? I can just imagine a Montgomery County Police negotiator on the phone with Lee right now:
“Mhmm, gotcha, lemme write this down, mhmm, ‘parasitic human infants,’ gotcha. No more false heroics, OK, got it jotted down here. New era of human sterilization, gotcha … more than just your typical vasectomy, right. Mhmm. New race of eunuchs … copy that. Save planet from global warming, check. Prepare for 2012, Armageddon, writing … that … down … now too. Wait, pen ran out of ink, lemme get another one. OK, go on. Mhmm, fix immigration problem, overpopulation, reverse economic recession by 6 PM Eastern Standard Time, gotcha. World peace, mhmm, go on. Prevent the extinction of the Forest Pixies, gotcha. Alright Mr. Lee well we’ll get right on it. My people call your people in 5?”
Clearly, this should have never happened. But that’s beside the point. Hindsight is always excruciatingly 20/20 and no one’s really to blame.
This afternoon, I merely loathe being a downtown Silver Spring resident, partly because it’ll be a bitch getting home.
Update: As reported by The Washington Post, James J. Lee was shot and killed at 4:48 p.m. yesterday afternoon. The erstwhile hostages remain unharmed.
I wonder who’s going to direct the inevitable film adaptation. Dog Day Afternoon Redux, anyone?